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April News..."those
things"
From time to time I talk about
"those things" we all do that aren’t necessarily important, but
take up our time and distract us from what is important. Stop and
think about all the times you try to make things "perfect" and try
to squeeze in "just one more thing." Does it really need to be
done? Will it really make a difference?
Some of the biggest culprits are the elaborate birthday parties
and overdone holiday festivities. We work ourselves into a
frenzy... for what?
My friend Karen recently shared a story with me about "those
things." Her daughter, Rebecca decided to have her sixth birthday
party at home. She would have been happy with friends and a cake,
but Karen’s creative side kicked in and she went to work on what
would be the best ever Knights and Dragons birthday party for ten
children: homemade tunics, complete with a coat of arms, cardboard
swords covered in aluminum foil, crowns (each guest got to decorate
one upon arrival), a “Pin the Sword on the Dragon” game and an
unbelievable homemade cake in the shape of a castle!
The party started with the King (Rebecca’s dad) calling on his
knights to help him find a dragon causing havoc on the royal
grounds. Karen had spread clues throughout the yard, with a final
clue leading the knights to the dragon, a piñata, which the knights
proceeded to slay. They each reaped the rewards from within. It was
quite the party!
After everyone left and Rebecca was getting to her new gifts,
Karen felt the need for a pat on the back. She was sure Rebecca had
loved everything but couldn’t resist asking,
“Rebecca, what was your favorite part of the party?” Without
hesitation, Rebecca replied, “I loved it when my friends sang Happy
Birthday to me.”
“I had to laugh at the simplicity of her answer compared to my
weeks of creative craziness,” Karen said. “It made perfect sense.
Singing Happy Birthday is one of our favorite family traditions. We
sing it in English, Spanish, French and make up silly verses, too…
on everyone’s birthday. Since that day, we focus completely on the
birthday cake and the Happy Birthday song.”
Most of us don’t realize that kids, like adults, look forward to
a birthday party simply because it’s their special day. The food,
décor and activities are really there more to treat and entertain
the guests. The Happy Birthday song is the one moment at a party
when the birthday person is in the limelight — and the focus of
family and friends. All those extra “things” may impress people
temporarily, but unless there is some emotional connection, the
memory is very soon forgotten.
What they do remember vividly are the family traditions we
celebrate over and over again – because traditions are associated
with good feelings, spending time with people who care about
us.
Family researchers agree that traditions (birthdays, holidays,
family vacations) are powerful because they weave many protective
factors into family life. Studies show
that children and teens in families that celebrate
traditions:
- Achieve higher levels academically
- Are better adjusted emotionally and socially
- Exhibit higher self-esteem and positive identity
- Learn social competence and self-control
- Feel a sense of security, stability and peace
- Develop stronger relationships as adults
Perhaps the most important benefit in our dizzybusy lives is
that family rituals and traditions seem to ease the stress of daily
living. I want to say that again -
family rituals and traditions seem to ease the stress of daily
living!
This is a sneak peak at Lorle’s upcoming book,
due out this summer - and the (final) title is
happyhome: a family’s
guide to finding balance in a dizzybusy
world©
It gives us a simple plan – the
five happyhome habits – as well as five fun and practical tools to
make it easy to weave those healthy habits into our family life
right away. Watch for next month’s happyhome news when Lorle
explains the three reasons why our lives have become so
dizzybusy.
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